some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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