Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize