So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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