it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
