I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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