I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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