bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
