Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
