So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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