I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
