thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
