Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
