When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
