Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
its liver damage thursday
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
