Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
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Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
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I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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