Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
50% drunk capacity currently
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
