if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize