Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
