Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
