So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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