so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
