I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
