whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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