I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I didn't notice because vodka
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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