I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
