This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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