So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize