WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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