never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
