Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
