Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
