Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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