Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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