Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
