I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize