Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
