You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I pour the whiskey from now on
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
