I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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