member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
