I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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