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eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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