she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
