What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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