Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
