I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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