If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
My vagina just recognized that song.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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