We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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