Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
okay pat passed out under dana's car
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
