Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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