he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
