i just wanna soil my oats bro
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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