walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We left an ass print on the piano.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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