I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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