at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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