did you get engaged???
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
