Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
