I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
