I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
