I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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